mpclemens
New member
- Jun 26, 2013
- 133
- 0
I know FS has stated that they won't be porting any more EM tables over in the near future, focusing instead on tables that can be ROM-emulated or are part of a property that people have heard of. I understand the economics of the situation, despite the fact that (to me) nothing really says "pinball" like a true bells-and-score-wheels table. I understand the *public* reason, given, anyway. What Farsight won't let on, though, is that with Big Shot, THEY HAVE OPENED A PORTAL INTO THE HELLMOUTH ITSELF.
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and I'm here to liberate you from your pocket change."
This table is brutal, folks. I played it on PHoF, but FS really upped the Evil Ante when the ported it over. I am glad I'm not paying-per-play, because my kids would be sold into slavery/eating cardboard by now. And I know this isn't just a factor of the specific port, either. Real EM's are tough players, even in person. I suppose they were a step up from the original bagatelle games -- pay your penny and watch a ball bounce, woo! -- but just barely. These things had to be coined for dimes, the smallest and lightest coin -- there was no way a middling player could hold the necessary pocket change.
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and I giveth and I taketh away. But mostly I taketh."
Here's a good game of Big Shot, for me:
* Launch ball 1 and hit a top rollover, ball bounces off a slingshot and down the drain
* Ball 2 misses rollovers, bounces down outlane for a pity 1000 points
* Ball 3: oh, right. We're supposed to be hitting targets. Two drop targets, light the 8-ball, drain down the left outlane.
I don't even bother with 5-ball games any more. Gets the pain over sooner. When the stars align and I somehow, wildly manage a replay, you can be sure that extra ball is going SDTM. "Oh hey, nice Special. Pity it won't last but a second."
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and I am here to bring the pain."
This is a wonderful table upon which one may learn humility. Sure, it's exciting to score a five-million-point skill shot on a modern DMD, but you don't know real joy until you've managed to actually hit a lit rollover... on purpose. (The celebration only lasts long enough for you to watch the wild ricochet off the slings, of course.) You can have your yoga, your medication rooms, your inner peace -- when I want to know my place in the Universe, I fire up Big Shot and watch the silver ball sliiiiide by. "Ommmmm.... I am a pathetic dust mote on the face of the planet... ommmm..."
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and you will always come crawling back for more."
Damn this table. Damn it twice, and sideways on Sunday. Damn its cheerful colors, damn its simple rules, damn its infernal, addictive nature. "Just one more game, just one more..." Damn the rush you get for a 100,000+ point game and damn the lows from the followup 5,000-pointer. Damn the ball when it swerves just thisclose to the eight-ball kicker, right on the way to the damn outlane. Damn it once, twice, and thrice.
What an awesome table.
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and I'm here to liberate you from your pocket change."
This table is brutal, folks. I played it on PHoF, but FS really upped the Evil Ante when the ported it over. I am glad I'm not paying-per-play, because my kids would be sold into slavery/eating cardboard by now. And I know this isn't just a factor of the specific port, either. Real EM's are tough players, even in person. I suppose they were a step up from the original bagatelle games -- pay your penny and watch a ball bounce, woo! -- but just barely. These things had to be coined for dimes, the smallest and lightest coin -- there was no way a middling player could hold the necessary pocket change.
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and I giveth and I taketh away. But mostly I taketh."
Here's a good game of Big Shot, for me:
* Launch ball 1 and hit a top rollover, ball bounces off a slingshot and down the drain
* Ball 2 misses rollovers, bounces down outlane for a pity 1000 points
* Ball 3: oh, right. We're supposed to be hitting targets. Two drop targets, light the 8-ball, drain down the left outlane.
I don't even bother with 5-ball games any more. Gets the pain over sooner. When the stars align and I somehow, wildly manage a replay, you can be sure that extra ball is going SDTM. "Oh hey, nice Special. Pity it won't last but a second."
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and I am here to bring the pain."
This is a wonderful table upon which one may learn humility. Sure, it's exciting to score a five-million-point skill shot on a modern DMD, but you don't know real joy until you've managed to actually hit a lit rollover... on purpose. (The celebration only lasts long enough for you to watch the wild ricochet off the slings, of course.) You can have your yoga, your medication rooms, your inner peace -- when I want to know my place in the Universe, I fire up Big Shot and watch the silver ball sliiiiide by. "Ommmmm.... I am a pathetic dust mote on the face of the planet... ommmm..."
"Hi, my name is Big Shot, and you will always come crawling back for more."
Damn this table. Damn it twice, and sideways on Sunday. Damn its cheerful colors, damn its simple rules, damn its infernal, addictive nature. "Just one more game, just one more..." Damn the rush you get for a 100,000+ point game and damn the lows from the followup 5,000-pointer. Damn the ball when it swerves just thisclose to the eight-ball kicker, right on the way to the damn outlane. Damn it once, twice, and thrice.
What an awesome table.
Great post, sums up my experiences with it quite nicely. It's about the only table in season 1 that is still below 500 HOF points (iOS).
