The Chuck Norris Thread

[Dedpop]

Chuck Norris supports gun rights and ownership.

 

[Bowflex]

Chuck Norris went to an arcade. There were no survivors.

 

[Extork]

Skill shots where originally called Chuck Notris shots. But the pinball licensing police changed it so that they wouldn't have to pay him a billion yen for every skill shot that was achieved.

 

[Bowflex]

Chuck norris doesn't actually need to pay for playing. The machines dispense tokens or coins in any currency, any denomination when he plays them.

 

[Silverball67]

Chuck always plays multiball with his machinegun and never runs out of ammo.

 

[Bowflex]

When chuck saw Apollo 13's 13 ball multiball he smirked and chuckled thinking it was cute but still had significantly less balls than him.

 

[gooche77]

Chuck Norris can complete all Standard and Wizard Goals using just the plunger and nudging.

 

[Extork]

Chuck Norris started a thread once. it is known today as the Internet

 

[switch3flip]

Fun fact: Chuck Norris has the high score on every TPA table. He's just still on ball one on every one.
He calls finishing Battle for the kingdom "easy skill shot".
Completing LOTR trek to valinor is just called "Skill Shot". (Season 7 kickstarter table)
Either way, that's just him being humble. Techniqually all his games are still in skill shot.
His favorite table is Central Park. Because he had to nudge once. It wasnt a critical situation, but would be in 517 years.

 

[shutyertrap]

Chuck Norris is the original kickstarter. That one kick is also a kickfinisher.

 

[bird415]

Chuck Norris doesn't hail a taxi, taxis hail Chuck Norris.

 

[Silverball67]

Not only he beated Tarek Oberdiek on all tables, Chuck Norris completed all wizard goals on all tables, created new god goals, just by spelling the letters T P A ...
Sorry, this was not the whole truth...not all goals, ´cause he detests and rejects the awful "Goin´ Nuts", ´cause "he´s a man of wealth and taste..." He was around when Jesus Christ Had his moment of doubt and pain...

Only by hearing the "soundtrack" of "Goin´Nuts" he get´s so psyched, he went to initiate the final apocalypse of the whole universe in one Planck-time. After this, he creates a new universe just by giving the new singularity a "little kick". That´s what the big bang is all about! Steven Hawking was the first, who realized that.

 

[timharrod]

Chuck Norris can score zero points on Attack from Mars.

When Chuck Norris plays Twilight Zone, the trembling voice of Rod Serling asks him how many points he would like.

When Chuck Norris plays Gorgar, Gorgar recites epic poetry in an erudite English accent.

Dr. Dude scores a trillion points if he becomes more like Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris plays Taxi, all five characters, along with five more we don't know about, run in terror to their destinations and apologize when they get in the ball's way.

Chuck Norris built a pinball machine on a 15-minute lunch break. It is known today as the Solar system.

 

[Extork]

Chuck Norris reaches Klendathu every time he plays Pin-bot

 

[Kratos3]

Chuck Norris made the Trip to Atlantis. It's gone now.

 

[jbejarano]

A meteor didn't kill the dinosaurs. That was just Chuck Norris reaching "The Grand Finale" on Theatre Of Magic.