What tables do you hate with a white hot passion?

Nolan

New member
Jan 19, 2014
120
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Lets vent.

I dig the vast majority of the tables I've played in Pinball Arcade. Of the remainder I feel mostly apathy, but a scant few just rile me the hell up. Mostly because I really want to like them.

Champions Pub first and foremost. I love boxing, I love pinball, I love history, I love that music, I love that specific turn of the century period, but I friggen loathe outlanes. Especially outlanes with the pull of a super massive black hole. Normally I would just write the table off, and pretend it doesnt exist, but the rest of the motif is so damn up my alley that I cant resist driving myself crazy.

My game almost always is lost to the right outlane, and almost always during a fight. Any time I hit a slingshot, I almost always careen into an outlane. I just dont see how that end result can be avoided.

Star Trek the Next Generation. Again, another table that, for the most part, I love. I am a pretty big TNG nerd, my favorite of all the Treks. It has fantastic voice overs, great music, and some awesome shots and toys... but again, it seems 9 of 10 balls are lost to outlanes

I see all of these enormous scores, and I wonder how the hell you guys manage to avoid my fate. I am pretty good at pinball, and pretty good at TPA, but the skills to achieve highscores on these games with any kind of consistency completely avoids me. To me, that is the biggest problem, it makes them feel more like games of chance, than of skill. Which is partially true of all tables, there is always the element of chance, but it seems far more prevalent on those 2 tables.

Honorable mention to Tee'd Off, which has some of the blandest voice overs, in both acting and writing, and feels infinitely inferior to No Good Gofers in almost every regard. The table is easily avoided however, but I wonder why it was ever emulated to begin with.
 

vikingerik

Active member
Nov 6, 2013
1,205
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The trick on Champion Pub (on TPA) is don't shoot at the boxer with the left flipper. The boxer is actually very far off-center, way to the right. The left flipper -> boxer rebound points straight to the right outlane. But the right flipper -> boxer shot yields enormously safer rebounds, towards the flippers, almost straight up and down.

My hated table is Medieval Madness: http://digitalpinballfans.com/showt...les-The-Final!?p=126204&viewfull=1#post126204
 

Kadett785

New member
Nov 23, 2013
37
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Hey everybody. Grab a pitchfork and come with me.

Yaarrrr!!

mob_440.jpg
 

Nolan

New member
Jan 19, 2014
120
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The trick on Champion Pub (on TPA) is don't shoot at the boxer with the left flipper. The boxer is actually very far off-center, way to the right. The left flipper -> boxer rebound points straight to the right outlane. But the right flipper -> boxer shot yields enormously safer rebounds, towards the flippers, almost straight up and down.

My hated table is Medieval Madness: http://digitalpinballfans.com/showt...les-The-Final!?p=126204&viewfull=1#post126204

Thanks, will try this.
 

Bowflex

New member
Feb 21, 2012
2,287
1
I hate to say I hate a table on here and I am not sure I feel that passionately against any table but the two that come to mind for least enjoyable are Harley Davidson for its blandness, easiness and sounds and victory which has no flow whatsoever and is so dull and boring with long play stoppages anytime you achieve a checkpoint.
 

Munky

New member
Apr 28, 2013
150
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Goin Nuts and the EMs are at the top...El Dorado after that....just hurts my damn eyes and drains quicker than my shower.
 

MWink

New member
Jan 13, 2013
190
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For me it's probably Big Shot. I find it difficult, boring, and I hate the layout. The TPA version of Central Park showed me that it's not that I dislike EM tables in general. I love Central Park. The layout makes for some extremely satisfying shots and saves.

I agree with you about ST:TNG. I'm a huge Star Trek fan and I badly want to love this table but I find it extremely difficult. I recently discovered Visual Pinball and there's a great version of ST:TNG available for it that I find plays much better. Maybe the TPA version is more realistic but I don't care about that. I care about fun.
 

JPelter

New member
Jun 11, 2012
652
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Harley Davidson. I don't think I even need to go into details but it's just incredibly boring and the theme does nothing for me. The soundwork is uninspired. The bike toy at the center is about the only relatively cool thing about the entire table, but it's not used enough and really just way too little to counteract the turd that is surrounding it.
 

Espy

New member
Sep 9, 2013
2,098
1
Only one, actually... Goin Nuts. I thought I would actually like it but it's way too stressful to keep the ball alive.
 

Slam23

Active member
Jul 21, 2012
1,279
2
I'm passionate about hating Dr. Dude. It's a boring table with a stupid juvenile theme, irritating visuals and sounds, no flow whatsoever and all shots seem off to me. Combine that with brutal outlanes and a ridiculous maximum HOF score (although this is true of more season 2 tables), and there you have it: the utter lowpoint of an otherwise excellent collection of TPA tables. Even then, it could be a good emulation of the real thing, but then I would hate the real table too :) At a respectable distance I would say that Class of 1812 and Champion Pub are no favorites but I reckon more playing time with them could change my mind. As far as the EM tables go: I was never into them, being of the DMD-style generation when I played real tables, but TPA brought a new appreciation for me. I do like the precise shot-making that they ask of the player (Big Shot, Eldorado), and the typical flow they bring. I really have a love-hate thing for Big Shot where a lot of frustration pays off hugely when you do get success. Every shot there is buttcheekclenching, almost no safe shot possible and that is in a way the charm of that one ("Losing is Fun" anyone?). But it's an acquired taste I think. I sucked at STTNG too in the beginning but the strategy of going solely for the lock and playing Borg Multiball has paid off, as was learning how to nudge pre-emptively when balls go toward the outlanes. Rescueing them when they are already behind the slingshots is nigh impossible. I actually tend to dislike this kind of strategy where you solely focus on one thing because I love playing all modes on a table, but when hunting for HOF points or a particular highscore, it's the way to go. I did a comparison a while back between the TPA version and a real one, go check it out if you like: http://digitalpinballfans.com/showthread.php/3960-Side-by-side-comparison-with-a-real-table-(part-2)
 

DanBradford

New member
Apr 5, 2013
648
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in real life, XFiles
on TPA i don't particularly like a few tables, but there's none i hate with a white hot passion, not even Genie
 

ER777

New member
Sep 8, 2012
797
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For me it's probably Big Shot. I find it difficult, boring, and I hate the layout. The TPA version of Central Park showed me that it's not that I dislike EM tables in general. I love Central Park. The layout makes for some extremely satisfying shots and saves.

Interesting, most people seem to feel the exact opposite, including myself. I think Big Shot is very good and Central Park not so much..
 

oqvist

New member
Nov 23, 2013
210
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most em tables are awful. Most gottlieb tables too they did awful em tables and not so much better modern tables. There is a few exceptions though like that golf game :)
 

vikingerik

Active member
Nov 6, 2013
1,205
0
Besides MM, Haunted House has got to be my least favorite in TPA. The flipper design is horrible with that outlane between the two right flippers, and I wish the leftmost flipper wasn't even there as it just gets in the way and there's nothing it can do that the left main flipper can't. The reversed upper flippers drive me crazy - the only way I can handle that in TPA is to always hit both buttons together to be sure of getting the correct flipper. All the shots are extremely narrow and frustrating, and there's not enough to shoot for without any kind of multiball or other escalation. How did Gottlieb get this table so wrong after Black Hole so right?

I don't have any hate for Genie or Big Shot. Genie's left outlane system is annoying only because it takes so long so you get panicky and pissed for several seconds. But on the whole it's really not more drainy than any normal inlane/outlane. Central Park does bother me, I always hate extra gaps between flippers and targets you can't shoot directly.

Big Shot is beautiful. I don't even hate Goin Nuts either, found it oddly compelling once I understood the rules. It's on the dull side but not bad or hateable at all.
 
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